Mama J.
February 11, 1931 - September 1, 2009
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to
be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to
their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. -Titus 2:3-5
obituary
Often it is death that presses us into realizing what an
impact someone has had on our life. Thinking back over the last thirty years I
was taken with the fact that Mom had a big part in setting a vision for my
family. She lived out her convictions daily, not in secret, but for all to
see. Her love for God, her husband and children were apparent. From the
start of our relationship Mom was an “older women” in my life. My parents
would have said that we met when I was in 5th grade. C’s and my parents took a square
dancing class together. But really our relationship began five years later when
I began dating her son. I wasn’t too bold of a teenager when relating to
adults, but I always remember her kindness and hospitality to me whenever I was
in her home.
Two years later she became more involved with our family when my mom was
hospitalized with leukemia. She drove her to the hospital and was very
attentive to my sister and me by arranging details for my mom such as who was
going to feed and house her children. (I can only now being a mom myself
appreciate what my mom must have felt in receiving help like this.) I still
remember the day she made a point of telling me that my mom had told her that
she would be happy if C and I married one day. From the look on her face, I
took her statement as approval from her as well.
All my childhood I had told my parents that I wanted a large family. My notions
came from comparing our quiet small family home to those I saw on shows like The
Waltons, The Brady Bunch and Eight is Enough. Finally, here
was reality played out for me (and made attractive) as I sat around the dinner
table and as I watched Mom bustle about feeding and caring for her husband and
five children.
She was a unique individual that not only challenged my vision but also my
character. She lived out her gifts with zeal. These three areas come to mind:
Creativity: Our house is full of handmade items by Mom – Christmas stockings,
children’s clothes, pillows, cards - to name a few. She knitted C a stocking as
a little boy and made one for me when I joined the family. By the size of
mine she either thought I deserved a bit more at Christmas or that C needed
some encouragement in gift giving. The first Christmas I had it we hung it on
the mantel. He was thinking big so he bought a 2 liter soda bottle.
Defeating his purpose, the heavy beverage stretched the stocking to the ground.
Curiosity: The first trip we took together was to Florida. N was 9 months
old and I wasn’t sure that I could make the trip alone. I asked Mom to travel
with me. I was amazed at how many questions she could muster when talking
to anyone: people on the plane, my many relatives, store clerks, museum
docents, and people on the street. Everyone she met she showed genuine interest
in through the peppering of questions. This didn’t stop with people either. She
was always wondering how things were made, or why someone did something that
particular way or if she could learn how to do [whatever she was looking at]. I
never ceased to be challenged by her insatiable curiosity.
Caring and Compassion: Many attending her funeral gave testimony to the fact
that she wasn’t afraid to get involved with the mess of people’s lives.
If she saw a need that she could meet she was willing to reach out to others,
to make things, to give of her time and resources, and to give her opinion as
to how to remedy the situation. This led her often to take the road that
was a bit more uncomfortable (as in the example of helping my mom in her
struggle with cancer) when she could have kept her eyes only on the many needs
of her immediate family. I benefited from her caring then and again as she
delighted in coming to our home with addition of every grandchild.
As C said in his tribute to her during the funeral service,
she lived her life under the Son. She reflected the God she knew so well in her
creativity and in her caring and compassion. She marveled at the wonders that
her Lord had done in creating this world and cared deeply for those in it as
she knew in whose image they are made. She will be profoundly missed.
