2008JeffJourney

Cousins

September 5, 2009

People always say that one good thing about funerals is the gathering of family.

Mom would have loved seeing all her grandchildren together laughing and talking!

A Testimony of a Life

Mama J.

February 11, 1931 - September 1, 2009

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. -Titus 2:3-5

obituary

Often it is death that presses us into realizing what an impact someone has had on our life. Thinking back over the last thirty years I was taken with the fact that Mom had a big part in setting a vision for my family. She lived out her convictions daily, not in secret, but for all to see.  Her love for God, her husband and children were apparent. From the start of our relationship Mom was an “older women” in my life.  My parents would have said that we met when I was in 5th grade. C’s and my parents took a square dancing class together. But really our relationship began five years later when I began dating her son. I wasn’t too bold of a teenager when relating to adults, but I always remember her kindness and hospitality to me whenever I was in her home.

Two years later she became more involved with our family when my mom was hospitalized with leukemia.  She drove her to the hospital and was very attentive to my sister and me by arranging details for my mom such as who was going to feed and house her children. (I can only now being a mom myself appreciate what my mom must have felt in receiving help like this.) I still remember the day she made a point of telling me that my mom had told her that she would be happy if C and I married one day. From the look on her face, I took her statement as approval from her as well.

All my childhood I had told my parents that I wanted a large family. My notions came from comparing our quiet small family home to those I saw on shows like The Waltons, The Brady Bunch and Eight is Enough. Finally, here was reality played out for me (and made attractive) as I sat around the dinner table and as I watched Mom bustle about feeding and caring for her husband and five children.

She was a unique individual that not only challenged my vision but also my character. She lived out her gifts with zeal. These three areas come to mind:
Creativity: Our house is full of handmade items by Mom – Christmas stockings, children’s clothes, pillows, cards - to name a few. She knitted C a stocking as a little boy and made one for me when I joined the family.  By the size of mine she either thought I deserved a bit more at Christmas or that C needed some encouragement in gift giving. The first Christmas I had it we hung it on the mantel.  He was thinking big so he bought a 2 liter soda bottle. Defeating his purpose, the heavy beverage stretched the stocking to the ground.

 

Curiosity:  The first trip we took together was to Florida. N was 9 months old and I wasn’t sure that I could make the trip alone. I asked Mom to travel with me.  I was amazed at how many questions she could muster when talking to anyone: people on the plane, my many relatives, store clerks, museum docents, and people on the street. Everyone she met she showed genuine interest in through the peppering of questions. This didn’t stop with people either. She was always wondering how things were made, or why someone did something that particular way or if she could learn how to do [whatever she was looking at]. I never ceased to be challenged by her insatiable curiosity.

 
Caring and Compassion: Many attending her funeral gave testimony to the fact that she wasn’t afraid to get involved with the mess of people’s lives.  If she saw a need that she could meet she was willing to reach out to others, to make things, to give of her time and resources, and to give her opinion as to how to remedy the situation.  This led her often to take the road that was a bit more uncomfortable (as in the example of helping my mom in her struggle with cancer) when she could have kept her eyes only on the many needs of her immediate family. I benefited from her caring then and again as she delighted in coming to our home with addition of every grandchild.

As C said in his tribute to her during the funeral service, she lived her life under the Son. She reflected the God she knew so well in her creativity and in her caring and compassion. She marveled at the wonders that her Lord had done in creating this world and cared deeply for those in it as she knew in whose image they are made. She will be profoundly missed.

Our Days are Written in His Book

August 26-31, 2009

 

*** Three Generations of the Fourth Child - C, Mom and E. Taken 10-2-1995.

When C's Mom discovered she had pancreatic cancer in mid August, E and I just wanted to figure out a way that we could get up there to spend time with her. Thanks to Delta frequent flier miles (and God's providence) we soon were on our way.  What a whirlwind of days it turned out to be.

We arrived after she had undergone the procedure to have a port put in so that she could begin chemotherapy. For the first few days she was sleepy and weak, but we were happy to spend time with her and Dad and help where we could to get things in order in their home. We also zipped up to K20 on Saturday to close up our tent. E could not resist another swim in the lake.

The gift was Friday. She was bright and talkative.  We reminisced. She laughed with her two 13 yo granddaughters as they helped her weed out the refrigerator items - little did we know that there are so many types of jelly. We listened as she told of friends that have been dear to her over time. We ironed and vacuumed and sorted and cleaned. More family joined us for lunch. She sat up at her spot at the large dinner table and talked of a day when she'd have a better appetite - but for now was content with her watermelon, her Boost drink and company. In the evening she was energized from a visit from a high school friend of mine and C's. Overall, it was a great day.

Saturday was a bit more subdued.

Sunday and Monday are a blur.  She awoke Sunday morning with shortness of breath and by evening was settling into the ICU with a vague diagnosis - pulmonary embolism or lung infection? I left the ICU that evening encouraged by the nurse's report and promising looking blood gases.

Monday morning E and I packed up to head home and I popped into the hospital expecting progress. Instead Dad and I were ushered out in the hall.  The medical team surrounded us as one of the MDs explained their reasoning for determining she had a pulmonary embolism. As they spoke all I could think of was, "This is too fast. We're not ready." We were pushed as to a decision for treatment.  Since she had just last night in the ER expressed her desire to be put on a ventilator so her children could be with her, that was the way we chose. When I walked back in that room I knew that I was saying, "Good-bye" for the last time. 

Tears did not stop flowing over the next hours. I relayed the decisions to S&K (C's brother and wife). E and I headed back to the airport to fly home. C, who had just landed in California, found a return flight and eventually made his way back to Connecticut. Her girls came from RI, VT and CA. Over the next few days everyone said their good-byes.

What a God we serve!  He knew Mom's days as in Psalm 139:16 the psalmist proclaims: ... in your book were written, every one of the them, the days that were formed for me,...  I praise Him that He was so kind as to give me the desire to go to CT just when we did. E and I will be ever greatful for these special days.

Happy Birthday Scott!

May 30, 2009

In honor of C’s brother’s 48^th birthday, a group of his high school friends planned a reunion of MYFers (Methodist Youth Fellowship) from our childhood church. Loaded down with scrapbooks and photos, all arrived to reminisce, laugh, eat and laugh more. The exclamation, “Why did we wait so long?” was heard over and again.

 

**Sharing photos of family  ** Even our Pastor joined us - at the age of 91!

 

**My high school buddies

 

**Dad

 

**N and A.  They heard plenty of stories of their parents past. :-)

Sitting a Spell on Grandma's Porch

May 30, 2009

Grandma's garden is always beautiful and interesting.
The weather couldn't have been more perfect.

A morning passed in conversation and play.

Visiting Family

May 16-17, 2009

An abundance of food.

A Survivor Finale.

Celebrating three May birthdays.

Late night talking among cousins.

Lots of Laughter around several tables.

Running one energetic puppy.

Worship in our childhood church.

Thankful hearts that we were able to be there, share laughter and make memories.

A Woman Remembered

June 26, 1940 - December 17, 1980

George Ann Stevens Osborne

28 years ago my mom died after a several year battle with leukemia.  As a high school senior looking for independence, I didn't appreciate her too much.  Now I would love to have her input and have her comradery as I love and raise my children.  She was a remarkable woman - loved by all who had the opportunity to get to know her.  

Number two in a line of seven children, she was born to a hard working cabinet maker and devoted Southern Baptist wife.  As a child she loved learning and music, and she wrote of becoming a missionary.  Love swept her off her feet in high school, not deterring her from becoming Class of 1958 Valedictorian, but changing her mission from missionary to Stenographer.  She became a faithful supporter of her husband who was making his way through college. In 1962 she earned the humorous Putting Husband Through degree from Florida State University Dames Club.

About the time my sister and I were well into elementary school she began to work on her college degree. After graduating, she became one of the most loved English high school teachers in my town teaching cool courses like Rock Poetry and Bible as Literature.  Often I was stopped by students that told me how much they liked her or that they appreciated her work with the drama club.  This is the announcement that was read over the PA system the morning of her death:

December 17, 1980

May I have your attention please for a special and very sad announcement?

            Early this morning Mrs. George Anne Osborne, a member of our faculty passed away.  Mrs. Osborne had been a teacher of English in our school for six years.  During that time she earned a reputation as an outstanding teacher – one who genuinely cared for her students and who literally could teach anything assigned to her.  She also served for several years as our Drama Club Advisor.

            It is difficult to describe briefly what faculty and students thought of Mrs. Osborne.  A few descriptive words might help – creative, intelligent, conscientious, perceptive, sensitive, personable, dedicated, positive, a sense of humor, a superior teacher.

            She was herself an outstanding student – a magna cum laude graduate from Southern Connecticut State College.

            Although with us for a relatively short time as careers are measured, she will remain in the hearts and minds of many of us for years to come.  We have lost a superior teacher, a truly professional colleague and a dear friend to all of us at Trumbull High School.  We extend our sincere sympathy to the members of her family, particularly to her daughters, Lesley, a student at Madison Junior High School, and to Suzanne, a student at Trumbull High School.

            Would everyone please join me now in a moment of silence in honor of her memory.

            Thank You.

This past Thanksgiving, I was able to take a run by our high school and see the plaque given in her memory that still remains in the gardens in the courtyard.  Often my mind runs by the many influences she had in my life - She faithfully brought me to church where I heard the gospel preached and began to develop a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  She read aloud books like Strawberry Girl and The Moffats instilling in me a love of literature and giving me a tradition I would carry on with my children.  She dragged me to musicals and Shakespearean dramas on Broadway and concerts of classical music which (she would smile) have become part of what all (or at least my children) should experience to have a full life.  She inspired in me an eye for beauty and desire to create.  And she saw my strengths and did everything she could to give me opportunity to develop them.

Life for her was short, but what an impact she had.  I miss her and often think what fun she'd have creativily sewing a Civil War costume for an ever greatful grandson or reading aloud to whichever grandchild would crawl onto her lap or watching her grandkids perform in her favorite musicals like Fiddler on the Roof.  In these things I see her, and her impact lives on.

I'm chronicling her writing and stories. If you have one to add, please write.  Thank you!

On The Way Home

Date: Friday, November 28, 2008 - Monday, December 1, 2008

Added:  NC, VA, MD, CT, & PA:  5 more states to our camper USA map this trip!

Audio Books:  The cheers go up as we finish Uncle Tom's Cabin, also finish The Misadventures of Maude March and Red Moon at Sharpsburg by Rosemary Wells. We finish the ride with a few light books: Tonight on the Titanic, Buffalos Before Breakfast and Tigers at Twilight by Mary Pope Osborne

Location:
#1:  Packed up in Trumbull, CT leaving C&N to spend a little more time with family

K&A on Grumpa & Grandma's front steps

#2:  Jonestown Pennsylvania KOA - We stopped in the dark and the challenge was to back into a spot covered with fallen leaves.  J&K stood and marked out the obstacles and called directions to this very spatially challenged driver - yikes. Thankfully we made it into the space snug for the night.

#3  Frostburg, MD - stop for snow. A says, "ow"  She thought the snow looked prettier than it felt.

#4 Meadowbrook Mall, Bridgeport, WV:  Forgetting that we'd compete against the mad holiday shoppers we decided to stretch our legs and get lunch at the mall.  We were quickly reminded how wise we are to avoid shopping with the crowds!

#5 Kentucky - my sister's home for two nights - great time, no pictures.

#6 Home on Monday: 4:30 p.m./ 5 p.m. Friends arrive on their way home from FL. They help us unpack, hug and read to the children, encourage us with their tales of their missionary travels, and spend the night.

Now to press on in the homestretch till Christmas vacation....

Uncle Tom's Cabin and Do Hard Things

Date: Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Location:  Harriet Beecher Stowe Center, Hartford, CT

Weather:  Drizzly, Grey

"I wrote what I did because as a woman, as a mother, I was oppressed and broken-hearted with the sorrows and injustice I saw, because as a Christian I felt the dishonor to Christianity -because as a lover of my country, I trembled at the coming day of wrath."

Harriet Beecher Stowe - when asked what made her write Uncle Tom's Cabin. 
(copied from www.harrietbeecherstowecenter.org).


**Kids on the front steps of Mrs. Stowe's CT home

Uncle Tom's Cabin has been said to be one of the most influential books in our country's history.  After listening to all 18+ hours on our car ride (and some of that time with the IPOD on slow speed :-)), we came away with many thoughts... That book is boring (said frequently during the long discourses about slavery and to the tour guide - oops!),  I didn't know that any person could be that mean. (said about Simon LeGree), How could this book start a war? ....

...for me the most impressive concept is that here was a woman who could not keep her opinions to herself (as the quote above suggests, her burden was great);  she used her gift of being able to capture ideas and emotions into words in a way that creatively let others see the world in a new way.  At the same time we were listening to this book we have been reading, Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris.  Though this book is directed to teens, the concept of raising the bar to do hard things that go beyond what is expected or required is one that can be applied to all.  Mrs. Stowe is a great example of how the influence of one life can have great impact.

Back to the Harriet Beecher Stowe Center....

Several weeks before our trip I contacted the center and they set up a  Children's tour for our little group.  The guide asked what we were interested in learning and focused on those things throughout our tour.  The kids also were offered a scavenger hunt that keep them on the lookout for items throughout the home.  The Civil War Reenactment weekend and the reading of Uncle Tom's Cabin gave us two references to take in the information.  The girls and I could imagine maintaining the home adorned with hoop skirts (the idea is not as romantic as it once seemed!).  We could see several impacts of the book on the the Stowes' life (stories of visitors coming to see the famous author and gifts in the home given by the admiring fans.)  The tour gave us a peek into the life of an amazing woman.

Scenes from Thanksgiving

Date:  Monday, November 24, 2008 through Friday, November 28, 2008 (N flew in to join us on Tuesday. Hurrah!)

Location: Trumbull, CT

Weather for the week:  some rain, some grey skies, some blue skies.  Temperatures 30's - 50's.  But sadly - No Snow!

C's parents graciously let us park in their long flat driveway and plug into their garage, thus extending their house to include a little guest suite.  Who would have thought that J & N would opt for the real beds and close by showers of the indoors?

Some scenes from Thanksgiving:

A Table Set for 19.
The first course, Mom's Pumpkin Soup.

Thanksgiving entertainment

Brothers.  One trying to slim off the turkey dinner.

A portion of the family clan

M says, "Forget the turkey... Bring on the Mac and Cheese!"

Our thanksgiving hymn we sang this month says,

Come, ye thankful people, come,
Raise the song of harvest home;
All is safely gathered in,
Ere the winter storms begin.
God our Maker doth provide
For our wants to be supplied;
Come to God's own temple, come,
Raise the song of harvest home.

What a blessing it was for us to travel to CT this year to be with family and to make new memories.  We are truly thankful that God our Maker does provide for our wants to be supplied. We have seen it over and over this past year and look forward to seeing more testimony of His provision in the coming year.